I don’t want any gifts or cards,
There’s reason for my gloom,
A flame, (not from my birthday cake),
Extinguished much too soon.
Just keep telling yourself ‘you did all that you could’,
You can lie to yourself, and pretend
But it wasn’t enough,
Don’t blame me when it’s rough;
Now regret seems to be your best friend.
I tried to write
a poem here,
but had to walk away,
that’s the thing;
when you feel loss
no words to say.
It hasn’t stopped raining all day
It’s been overcast, cloudy and grey
But the sun in the sky
Says it’s pleasant and dry
Guess my heart sees it differently, hey?
A rainbow dipped in shades of grey, is really just a way to say
Stand strong and tall if faced with grief; as colour only hides beneath.
I have been stabbed in the heart, but feel nothing.
You’ve cut open the veins in my arms and turned me inside out, I feel nothing.
The gun that you put in my mouth, feels like nothing.
You have driven into and through me, you have driven into nothing.
As your poison fills my belly and burns it’s way though my skin, I feel nothing.
Your words are bullets in my skull, they feel like nothing
I love you so much.
I feel nothing.
Under this harsh light I can’t hear their words
Their mouths are just moving, everything blurred
And then it goes silent in my head and then
That’s when I realise you found me again
You’ve been here before; I remember you well
I remember your taste and your touch and your smell
You left here defeated, no lesson you’ve learned
For here we are once more, you’re here, you returned
You’re an unwelcome guest that I’m keeping at bay
I’m not tortured nor battered by games you may play
You may think you’re stronger, you may think you’ll win
You’re battle is weak and this war I will win
So maybe you’ll change me, the way that I look
But you won’t make me weak from the things that you took
With every attack that you may throw my way
I will just come back stronger, let’s play it my way
You’ve taken away things so precious to me
You’re hurting my family, just let us be
You’re weak and you sneak up on people, how low
That’s the best you can do – then you may as well go
When all this is over, when you have been banished
When all that you threw at my life has since vanished
When you have relented with no single trace
It will be the last time I look in your face.